Sometimes you just gotta do it and more than likely fail, but there’s still that chance you’ll succeed.
I got a mitre saw for Christmas.
I have some crazy, and maybe misplaced, notion, that I can be good at aesthetic woodwork.
Who knows. All I know is Dave indulges me to a point where I have to make stuff worth it. And I know his squinty eyed indulgence is definitely a way he shows he loves me. And I (try) to make things beautiful for him and the kids. And currently, I believe I need a mitre saw to do so.
So here we go- I’m starting my first project. Board and batten in my awkward, long entry way, Canadian, cookie-cutter, suburban home. I’m gonna try the stairs too.
I’m actually terrified to use the saw. It’s been sitting in its box, unopened since Christmas.
My step dad, who did hardwood floors for a living, totally sawed off two of his fingers with a saw.
And he used saws ALL THE TIME. So I have some reservations. But I also read from another DIY-er (can I even consider myself one yet?) that if I have common sense to be careful using a knife or any other sharp object I should be okay using a saw. I’m hoping I’m okay.
I told Dave it’ll probably take me until Christmas to finish. (Yes I know it’s February. I have four kids, two who are still at home with me, and Dave works out of town like, 3 days a week…you gotta be clear with yourself and how long stuff will take.)
Kidding about the fifty billion steps. There’s only 7 and one of them is optional.
Two of my kids had the crazy idea of being born the first week of January….a weekish after Christmas. It makes anything “special” about their day, and wanting to make it all special, threaten to fly out the window. Not because I don’t love em. I love em good. But because my husband also happens to be born the week of Christmas and we crazy folk celebrate EVERYTHING. It’s a lot to plan 3 parties plus Christmas around the same time. But we do it and it’s pretty dang awesome. So I consider myself a bit of a pro at party planning these days. If I do say so myself. And I do.
Step 1: Try your best to make everyone healthy.
No joke. Start with water (I’m laughing because every post I think will have water in it) and I’m trying out probiotics this year (I’ll let you know if they make a difference). Partying for weeks on end, especially around germy, gross, little kids who are full of colds and stomach bugs, will tear even the strongest immune system down. Guys, one year our party of 20 kids became our party of 5- and two of those were mine, because everyone we knew was sick. Even today, the day before the kids party, we’ve had guests dropping like flies due to infections and pukings.
Step 2: Delegate
Can you actually bake cookies like a pro, Karen? Or are you just wishful thinking it? OR can you and is it worth your time making things look like a million bucks when in fact it’ll be way worth your time knowing someone else will do it, and it will come to you done RIGHT. I’m not saying make everyone else do everything but I definitely have a “cookie lady” (sweet nommies by Tara….who actually retired and I’m now left cookie-less). Things that I’ve outsourced are: cookies, cakes, sandwich trays, fruit tray, veggie tray, sushi, taco bar, lamb, cevapi (little meat fingers- they’re Uber YUM). This year, due to our BROKE status, we in fact didn’t outsource anything because everything’s cheaper when you do it yourself. But if you got the extra cash to make your stress lower, I firmly say do it.
Step 3: Lower your standard
Lemmie tell you about our cake de-evolution. Once upon a time, I was a new mom who wanted everything fancy fabulous for my little schnookums. Fancy cakes were the apple of my eye and, because I am no cake decorator, there was no compunction in buying the most awesome cakes ever. Cakes that were worth small artworks (because they were technically edible art). My standard for cakes since then has SIGNIFICANTLY dropped. Mostly because one year my kids were assholes (this is definitely our doing and we’re working on making this outragous privilege of theirs, less.) and I vowed never to get them their own fancy cakes again. So I didn’t. This year Betty Crocker is my friend.
I find people eat the EXACT same amount of dessert if it looks like (and costs) a million bucks and if it looks like I made it after a few glasses of wine. That’s a fact.
Step 4: Assume everything will take 2-3 times longer than what you think. Take my word. Especially if you’re doing everything with kids in tow.
Step 5: Taste test the wine you’re thinking of serving in advance.
We taste test the wine we’re serving at parties within a month of the party. So go out and grab a few bottles and see which ones you like the best before buying a bunch for people’s drinking pleasures. This step is easily the best one. 😀
Step 6: Prep ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING you can in advance, by a day or two.
This is imperative. It took us almost a decade to learn and finally we figured it out. Because everything takes longer with kids, because you’re permanently tired, because someone might fall sick, because you probably forgot to buy stuff and need to go back to the grocery store, DO EVERYTHING you can beforehand.
Pretend you’re Jamie Oliver and have your own cooking show. He’s not chopping shit while you’re watching. So you don’t do that either. A day or two before (pending on what you’re doing) chop up all the herbs you’re using. Measure out all of the spices. Make the desserts. Set up the appetizers. Chop potatoes. Marinate meat. Make it as stupid easy on yourself to actually cook the day of the event. Set the table. EV.ER.Y.THING. You’ll thank me.
Step 7: The semi optional step. Child containment and activities
In a land of iPads and tablets, I know the easiest thing is to skip this one all together. I strongly suggest ya don’t. If the kids have something special to do aside from tablet they’ll be less likely to come loiter amongst the adults. This year I let them paint mini nutcrackers at Dave’s bday/Christmas party. They turned out cute. My carpet did not. Learn from my mistake, I totally forgot to roll up that sucka.
Hopefully I’ve helped hosting your next event. If there’s anything I missed, lemmie know!
Talking about the crazy romance that was me and my first wine love…
It hits me every time. I actually smile and probably blush a bit when I see that little label. My heart does a light flutter and my eyes get a little teary. It’s the first real Love I fell into for wine. Capital L people. Capital L.
My first, and most certainly not last (wine monogamy IS NOT A THING), wine love was from a winery called Chappellet. They’re based in Napa Valley in California
A lifetime ago, pre-4 kids and a move to Canada, we (my husband Dave and I) were sitting in a kitchen in South Side, Pittsburgh at a friends house, when I was introduced to Chappellet. I’m pretty sure it was a Cab we drank and it stuck as truly formidable in the lineup that we had that night. The result was that the first time we ventured out to Napa, we made a point to do a tasting and tour of the winery.
Let me tell you, maybe things have changed in the last decade, but if they haven’t, there’s NO clear signage to get to this gem. As you’re driving up this windy road, and you stop at the fork, because of course there’s a fork in the road, wondering which friggen way to go, you spin around in absolute loss and then you get the view. There’s a turquiose lake, foiliage, hills and shit just melts away and you figure, everything’s all right, and this is waaayyy worth it.
Eventually, you will get there.
I know it sounds excessively dramatic, and for a long while, I thought I was dramatic too, because seriously, how can someone be in Love with a winery and the wines it produces?
I’ll tell you, because I’m SURE, 100% positive, that the robust emotional drives you have as an adolescent don’t go away.
They go into hiding and wait for something better to latch onto
For me, (aside from my husband) it happened to be wine. There are enough complexities in wine that I can probably study it a lifetime and it can still pleasantly surprise me.
If you haven’t found your “wine”, just wait. The deep capacity to love that came in adolescence is there, waiting to find some hobby that will make you content. It definitely doesn’t have to be wine. I hope you find it.
If you found a love (aside from your spouse) I’d LOVE to hear about it. I’m a sucker for a good romance. I mean, if you’d like to tell me how you met your partner, totally let me know that too. I read romance novels like they’re going out of style. I hope to write one one day too…maybe yours will be the inspiration!
One day I’ll blog the convoluted love story that was Dave and I finding one another, until then…
Happy new year! I always find it amazing that the second Christmas passes everyone has come to a firm(ish) belief that they’re not good enough and something needs to change (the infamous resolution). What the heck did you do over the holidays to make yourself feel like unworthy crap? Seriously though.
I’m currently coming out of the holidays with a bit of sickness due to stress, and probably dehydration. Who am I kidding. Definitely dehydration. On top of my kids being sick over the holidays and having to deal with that, we’ve been partying in some form or another (baptisms, birthdays, thanksgiving, Christmas parties, more birthdays) basically since early November. I don’t blame my body for backfiring on me (it looks like I have a cold sore and a runny nose which means I’m not leaving the house because eww.).
It’s not the time for me to make a huge assumption that I really need to change something about my life. But if you’re not like me, and you’re coming out of December fresh as a peach, good on you. We can talk too.
The most change I like to make around this time is taking down the Christmas decos and high fiving myself for my clean house.
The top three resolutions plastered all over the internet and coming out of almost everyone I know are:
Save more, spend less
1. Getting organized: Is your house and home over-run with stuff from the holidays and do you usually feel like clutter is attacking you from all sides? For me, I do a combo of Marie Kondo (the Japanese art of tidying up) and the idea of hygge.
Hygge is this general feel of cosy home. It’s the thought process of couch throws, warm candle light, and appreciating everything about your friends. There is nothing wrong with just the hygge way of life-it’s not strict enough for me mentally. I can make a pile of anything feel cosy (trikery)…so I also subscribe firmly and fondly to madame Marie Kondo.
I do the Kondo-tidying once a year, prob soon actually. I’m sure I won’t have to do it so often once the kids stop growing (a lot of clothing turnover) or don’t get as many toys and little Knick knacks for Christmas which threaten my sanity.
If you don’t know, Marie Kondo is a master at organization with a clear reasoning behind why she does what she does. She is firm in the idea that you should only surround yourself in items that bring you joy. In her books she describes how to (so don’t worry if you have no clue wth I’m talking about).
It’s always nice to know you love what you already own.
It will also stop you from spending money. Which leads me to 2.
2. Spend less save more. Ok. Hear me out. This will NEVER happen unless you are HAPPY/CONTENT with what you own—or you completely disengage from all social media and TV (always an option…but then I wouldn’t see you and that would make me sad). So. Go back to number 1 and try to wrap your head around your surroundings and feel the love in everything ya got. If you love everything you own and engage with it all more, yes even the thing housing your toilet paper, you’ll be less inclined to seek out material happiness elsewhere. Otherwise feel free to take a break from anything with a screen because it will only be pummeling you with ways to spend your dough on the new you for 2019.
3. Lose weight. …do you really need to?? Like, really do you? Do you actually want to change your eating habits in January when your body is still prob in hibernation mode and you more than likely haven’t been eating your usual amount and gained a few pounds over the last few weeks? Your habits are prob currently less than stellar. Your baseline is all wrong and out of whack. Give yourself some time to get back to eating as you usually would and then attack weight loss like a fierce animal. Until then, start with water. I’ve said it before and I’ll more than likely say it again, water is the stuff of life. It will help your body remember it’s thirsty, not hungry. Until it’s hungry. Then you know.
Like, give yourself a break! Everyone wants to feel healthy. Make this goal something to start in spring – you can EASILY combine healthy food (seasonal food is cheaper=you’ll be happier buying it) and outdoors are just waking up (it’s SPRING bitches!) which means it’s time for easy and free exercise in the great outdoors. Outdoor trails are amazinggggg.
Honestly, every time I’ve gone to the gym in the new year, by the time March- April comes around I find I just don’t care enough about my “resolution” and I stop going and cancel the membership, which means it was probably just a knee jerk reaction to the holiday craziness. I kinda don’t mind the way I look. My kids like me. My husband likes me. I do like feeling strong which is a whole other post…but I’ll get there another day.
The thing about a resolution is, if it’s not perfectly tailored to your current time and stress allotment, it will probably fail. Don’t set yourself up for failure.
This will be the first year I do the Kondo with 4 kids…wish us patience, perseverance and health. If you decide to do it too, I’ll wish the same for you. Luck has nothing to do with what we’ve got going on in here.
Money. Well, money would always be good. Hopefully going through every possession in my house knocks some sense into me, that I really don’t need that vase (or three) from target just because they’re 70% off.
If I’m exercising, it’s to make me stronger but only if I can make time. There’s zero sense in me spending money on a babysitter and gym and then feeling guilty because I have zero drive to go. If there’s zero drive to go to be gym and spend that dough, my genius friends, it’s prob not a resolution for me or you. You prob like yourself more than you let on. And that’s a fantastic thing.
Maybe an excellent place to start your resolution would be to look at the awesome animal you are. And rock it. A new year new who? Doesn’t have to be you. Just love the life you’re living.
Talking about the feels of Bedrock Old Vine Zinfandel, and how you can make every bottle special
You ever read and drink wine? It’s actually pretty rare that I finish a glass of wine when I read because I end up engrossed in the book and look like a book zombie flicking the pages or swiping on my phone through my kindle app. The wine is usually forgotten and left to the wayside.
I did say rare, but not impossible. I do love me some good wine. Tonight we opened a REALLY lovely bottle of Bedrock’s Old Vine Zinfandel. It makes an average night feel kinda special. Special like, YAY I did my laundry and folded it (but didn’t put away because it’s only the real superhero moms who do that) and went to my kid’s Christmas concert (and genuinely enjoyed myself) and cleaned (which I did not enjoy, but will thank myself later for). So every average thing becomes a bit of a celebration. And who doesn’t love a celebration or a happy dance? Amirite?
I really want to make good wine accessible for everyone. I really want you to like, GET it even if you’re NOT a wine person. So let me tell you why this wine is good for me when I’m blogging and hopefully reading a few pages of my Christmas romances (do they make sci fi Christmas books? I love sci fi, I love Christmas, maybe I should write a short story).
Here’s some information about it first (I LOVE info). Bedrock is founded by, honest to goodness, someone who sounds like an Einstein of wine. He could reportedly distinguish between different types of wine at 5 years old. 5! My 5 year old is pretty cool but she’s not telling me that this is a pinot noir and that is a cab sauv. His name is Morgan Twain-Peterson. This wine of his that I’m drinking now, it doesn’t have the weight that some wines do, which makes it perfect for focusing on something else, pairing it with an activity or food.
Ie. It’s pretty much an ideal wine.
Just now, I took a break and got myself a thai fresh spring roll, and guess what, it’s good with that too.
The nose isn’t obtrusive, and what I mean by that is that it doesn’t stink of alcohol. You knnnnoooowwww what I’m talking about. It legit smells like a fresh bouquet of flowers, and honestly that appeals to me because I love most flowers. Oddly enough, it also smells like skateboarding in summer with a hint of the crash of waves on the Adriatic ocean.
It feels purposeful. It feels like movement in summer.
You have your own memories that it would bring up, but I’m pretty sure the overall feeling would be that of purpose and movement.
If you have trouble recognizing how things make you feel, this is a great time to start. Grab a glass of wine, and just purposefully dip your nose into your glass and sniff the wine (like a puppy… try two short sniffs and a long whiff) and close your eyes. Let yourself relax into the smell and hopefully some solid images will pop into your brain. It’s how the pros do it (ish). That’s where they get phrases like, berry, tobacco, leather, etc. I can smell those too, but it’s even better to smell the other stuff. The stuff that makes your experience with wine special. If it’s not special, try to make it so that it is – so that everything you do brings you contentment.
#lifestooshorttodrinkbadwine. It’s not that the wine is necessarily bad, but if it reminds you of the feeling of being stuck in traffic on a newly paved 8 lane highway, it’s probably not for you.
That’s definitely my #tipoftheday.
I will purposely go and read now, and hope that if you’re looking for some wine to pair with your Christmas motions, you think of this one. It will DEFINITELY help you keep your mind moving forward beyond the one day that is Christmas, and help you smile about the feeling of this season.
Welcome to your place to unwind with a glass of wine while your kids may or may not be wrestling. I hope you stick around to get some insights on good wine to buy now and drink now (mostly from the LCBO because I live in #Ontario), or to get some happy thoughts and do #mentalhealth checks (I love helping parents stay sane because #ittakesavillage), or just keep the tab open while your eyes glaze over due to lack of sleep. I got your back no matter what.
Here’s my absolute favourite poem about wine to kick off this journey about practicing parenting. It’s by a Chilean author who really gets it. Ya know?
ODA AL VINO- Pablo Neruda
Day-colored wine, night-colored wine, wine with purple feet or wine with topaz blood, wine, starry child of earth, wine, smooth as a golden sword, soft as lascivious velvet, wine, spiral-sea shelled and full of wonder, amorous, marine; never has one goblet contained you, one song, one man, you are choral, gregarious, at the least, you must be shared. At times you feed on mortal memories; your wave carries us from tomb to tomb, stone cutter of icy sepulchers, and we weep transitory tears; your glorious spring dress is different, blood rises through the shoots, wind incites the day, nothing is left of your immutable soul. Wine stirs the spring, happiness bursts through the earth like a plant, walls crumble, and rocky cliffs, chasms close, as song is born. A jug of wine, and thou beside me in the wilderness, sang the ancient poet. Let the wine pitcher add to the kiss of love its own. My darling, suddenly the line of your hip becomes the brimming curve of the wine goblet, your breast is the grape cluster, your nipples are the grapes, the gleam of spirits lights your hair, and your navel is a chaste seal stamped on the vessel of your belly, your love an inexhaustible cascade of wine, light that illuminates my senses, the earthly splendor of life. But you are more than love, the fiery kiss, the heat of fire, more than the wine of life; you are the community of man, translucency, chorus of discipline, abundance of flowers. I like on the table, when we’re speaking, the light of a bottle of intelligent wine. Drink it, and remember in every drop of gold, in every topaz glass, in every purple ladle, that autumn labored to fill the vessel with wine; and in the ritual of his office, let the simple man remember to think of the soil and of his duty, to propagate the canticle of the wine. Translation from poetryconnection.net
Need some helpful tips on keeping you sane through this next week? I’ve got you.
So this post is running about a week ahead of Christmas on purpose. I was going to get to wine but since I feel SUPER run down, I figure so do you. It’s just that dang time of year that you want to be all happy happy smiley smiley but Janice over here is on your ass at work and then you forgot to buy some gift online and now have to ACTUALLY WALK INTO A MALL, and your children, bless them, they’re feeling the pressure in their own way. Thus, I’m attacking the #mentalhealth side of life first. Obs I’ll still have something about wine up in here. Come on.
To re-reach your own personal level of zen I suggest you:
1. Take some REALLY deep breaths. Like the ones you take to stave off tears. Seriously deep. Try 5 breaths from the belly and 5 from the lungs. It will increase your oxygen levels and get your system out of fight or flight mode. Repeat until you’re good to face another human who probably has a bunch of stress all over their face.
2. Drink water. It sounds stupid but dehydration raises stress levels too. Even minor dehydration. So if you’re feeling off, sit your ass down and drink some H2O. And stop with the coffee. Even the fancy stuff.
3. Smile. Even if it’s the worst fake smile ever, smile. Like, smile at nothing. Its funny how the body can trick the brain and vice versa. When you fake smile it actually mimics a real smile, releasing all sorts of good stuff into the brain (endorphins, dopamine and serotonin). So sit in a bathroom stall and just smile your butt off like the crazy person you are and get back into the “functioning human” game.
5. Remember you can only control your own behaviour, and no one else’s. So if everyone is being a dick around you, don’t hesitate to ask if someone’s “okay”. I did it a few times this weekend because I actually had to step into overcrowded insane malls and stores where the staff working looked like poor chickens who were half roasted and they’d rather their heads be cut off than work another second the week(ish) before Christmas.
6. If you can, hug someone for more than 20 seconds. Breathe into the hug. You may want to cry. It’s okay, its just your body releasing tension, there’s nothing REALLY wrong with you. You’re just a stress case at the moment. Which most people are.
7. Turn off the Christmas lights if they twinkle. I sound like a troll and I promise my house is so full of twinkly lights that I understand the appeal of having them go all day every day, but give your senses a moment to catch up. Yes twinkle good. For a bit. If you’re losing it, turn them off and just be one with the darkness. Flashing lights of any kind are designed to elicit a fight or flight reaction to our good ol animal selves. So unfortunately, Christmas decor, in all of it’s glory, if on all the time, actually stresses you out a bit. If you’re determined I have no bloody clue what I’m talking about, no prob. Leave them on but now I want you to focus on the silence between the noise. Watch as one light flickers on and off and time your breathing with a few cycles of the darkness.
8. Last but not least, have a glass of wine. Cheers!