How to throw a party when you have 4 kids, in 50 billion steps.

Kidding about the fifty billion steps. There’s only 7 and one of them is optional.

Two of my kids had the crazy idea of being born the first week of January….a weekish after Christmas. It makes anything “special” about their day, and wanting to make it all special, threaten to fly out the window. 
Not because I don’t love em. I love em good. But because my husband also happens to be born the week of Christmas and we crazy folk celebrate EVERYTHING.  
It’s a lot to plan 3 parties plus Christmas around the same time. But we do it and it’s pretty dang awesome. So I consider myself a bit of a pro at party planning these days. If I do say so myself. 
And I do. 

Step 1:  Try your best to make everyone healthy.

No joke. Start with water (I’m laughing because every post I think will have water in it) and I’m trying out probiotics this year (I’ll let you know if they make a difference). 
Partying for weeks on end, especially around germy, gross, little kids who are full of colds and stomach bugs, will tear even the strongest immune system down. Guys, one year our party of 20 kids became our party of 5- and two of those were mine, because everyone we knew was sick. Even today, the day before the kids party, we’ve had guests dropping like flies due to infections and pukings. 

Step 2: Delegate

Can you actually bake cookies like a pro, Karen? Or are you just wishful thinking it? OR can you and is it worth your time making things look like a million bucks when in fact it’ll be way worth your time knowing someone else will do it, and it will come to you done RIGHT. I’m not saying make everyone else do everything but I definitely have a “cookie lady” (sweet nommies by Tara….who actually retired and I’m now left cookie-less). 
Things that I’ve outsourced are: cookies, cakes, sandwich trays, fruit tray, veggie tray, sushi, taco bar,  lamb, cevapi (little meat fingers- they’re Uber YUM). This year, due to our BROKE status, we in fact didn’t outsource anything because everything’s cheaper when you do it yourself.  But if you got the extra cash to make your stress lower, I firmly say do it.

Top: Cake and pie From Leo and Co., Middle: Cake from Pink Flower cakes, Bottom: Cookies from Sweet Nommies by Tara

Step 3: Lower your standard

Lemmie tell you about our cake de-evolution. Once upon a time, I was a new mom who wanted everything fancy fabulous for my little schnookums. Fancy cakes were the apple of my eye and, because I am no cake decorator, there was no compunction in buying the most awesome cakes ever. Cakes that were worth small artworks (because they were technically edible art). 
My standard for cakes since then has SIGNIFICANTLY dropped. Mostly because one year my kids were assholes (this is definitely our doing and we’re working on making this outragous privilege of theirs, less.) and I vowed never to get them their own fancy cakes again. 
So I didn’t. 
This year Betty Crocker is my friend.

I find people eat the EXACT same amount of dessert if it looks like (and costs) a million bucks and if it looks like I made it after a few glasses of wine. That’s a fact.

I am NOT a decorator. In fact an ideal gift for me (hint hint family) would be a cake decorating class….

Step 4: Assume everything will take 2-3 times longer than what you think. 
Take my word. Especially if you’re doing everything with kids in tow.

Step 5: Taste test the wine you’re thinking of serving in advance.

We taste test the wine we’re serving at parties within a month of the party. So go out and grab a few bottles and see which ones you like the best before buying a bunch for people’s drinking pleasures. This step is easily the best one. 😀

Step 6: Prep ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING you can in advance, by a day or two.

This is imperative. It took us almost a decade to learn and finally we figured it out. Because everything takes longer with kids, because you’re permanently tired, because someone might fall sick, because you probably forgot to buy stuff and need to go back to the grocery store, DO EVERYTHING you can beforehand.

Pretend you’re Jamie Oliver and have your own cooking show. He’s not chopping shit while you’re watching. So you don’t do that either. A day or two before (pending on what you’re doing) chop up all the herbs you’re using. Measure out all of the spices. Make the desserts. Set up the appetizers. Chop potatoes. Marinate meat. Make it as stupid easy on yourself to actually cook the day of the event. Set the table. EV.ER.Y.THING. You’ll thank me.


Step 7: The semi optional step. Child containment and activities

 In a land of iPads and tablets, I know the easiest thing is to skip this one all together. I strongly suggest ya don’t. If the kids have something special to do aside from tablet they’ll be less likely to come loiter amongst the adults. This year I let them paint mini nutcrackers at Dave’s bday/Christmas party. They turned out cute. My carpet did not. Learn from my mistake, I totally forgot to roll up that sucka. 

I immediately used club soda and then Resolve Carpet cleaner….like, what the heck. Did I give them oil paint? I don’t know. But this is now officially the “kids carpet”.

Hopefully I’ve helped hosting your next event. If there’s anything I missed, lemmie know!



Your first #wine Love

Talking about the crazy romance that was me and my first wine love…

It hits me every time. I actually smile and probably blush a bit when I see that little label. My heart does a light flutter and my eyes get a little teary. It’s the first real Love I fell into for wine. Capital L people. Capital L.

My first, and most certainly not last (wine monogamy IS NOT A THING), wine love was from a winery called Chappellet. They’re based in Napa Valley in California

A lifetime ago, pre-4 kids and a move to Canada, we (my husband Dave and I) were sitting in a kitchen in South Side, Pittsburgh at a friends house, when I was introduced to Chappellet. I’m pretty sure it was a Cab we drank and it stuck as truly formidable in the lineup that we had that night. The result was that the first time we ventured out to Napa, we made a point to do a tasting and tour of the winery.

Let me tell you, maybe things have changed in the last decade, but if they haven’t, there’s NO clear signage to get to this gem. As you’re driving up this windy road, and you stop at the fork, because of course there’s a fork in the road, wondering which friggen way to go, you spin around in absolute loss and then you get the view. There’s a turquiose lake, foiliage, hills and shit just melts away and you figure, everything’s all right, and this is waaayyy worth it.

Eventually, you will get there.

We did.

I know it sounds excessively dramatic, and for a long while, I thought I was dramatic too, because seriously, how can someone be in Love with a winery and the wines it produces?

I’ll tell you, because I’m SURE, 100% positive, that the robust emotional drives you have as an adolescent don’t go away.

They go into hiding and wait for something better to latch onto

For me, (aside from my husband) it happened to be wine. There are enough complexities in wine that I can probably study it a lifetime and it can still pleasantly surprise me.

If you haven’t found your “wine”, just wait. The deep capacity to love that came in adolescence is there, waiting to find some hobby that will make you content. It definitely doesn’t have to be wine. I hope you find it.

If you found a love (aside from your spouse) I’d LOVE to hear about it. I’m a sucker for a good romance. I mean, if you’d like to tell me how you met your partner, totally let me know that too. I read romance novels like they’re going out of style. I hope to write one one day too…maybe yours will be the inspiration!

One day I’ll blog the convoluted love story that was Dave and I finding one another, until then…



A New Year, A New Who?

Looking at top three New Year Resolutions…

Happy new year! I always find it amazing that the second Christmas passes everyone has come to a firm(ish) belief that they’re not good enough and something needs to change (the infamous resolution).  What the heck did you do over the holidays to make yourself feel like unworthy crap? Seriously though. 

I’m currently coming out of the holidays with a bit of sickness due to stress, and probably dehydration. Who am I kidding. Definitely dehydration.  On top of my kids being sick over the holidays and having to deal with that, we’ve been partying in some form or another (baptisms, birthdays, thanksgiving, Christmas parties, more birthdays) basically since early November. I don’t blame my body for backfiring on me (it looks like I have a cold sore and a runny nose which means I’m not leaving the house because eww.).  

Peace love and wine. Notice the bags under my eyes and strategically placed hand. Yeah. It’s that kinda day. At least I showered.

It’s not the time for me to make a huge assumption that I really need to change something about my life. But if you’re not like me, and you’re coming out of December fresh as a peach, good on you. We can talk too.  

The most change I like to make around this time is taking down the Christmas decos and high fiving myself for my clean house. 

In the middle of taking down Christmas….the tree is coming down today! YAY!

The top three resolutions plastered all over the internet and coming out of almost everyone I know are:

  1. Get organized
  2. Save more, spend less
  3. Lose weight

1. Getting organized: Is your house and home over-run with stuff from the holidays and do you usually feel like clutter is attacking you from all sides? For me, I do a combo of Marie Kondo (the Japanese art of tidying up) and the idea of hygge. 

Meik Wiking's, The Little Book of Hygge and The Little Book of Lykke.
These are the two books I go back to when I need a reminder of what makes life Hygge.

Hygge is this general feel of cosy home. It’s the thought process of couch throws, warm candle light, and appreciating everything about your friends. There is nothing wrong with just the hygge way of life-it’s not strict enough for me mentally. I can make a pile of anything feel cosy (trikery)…so I also subscribe firmly and fondly to madame Marie Kondo. 

Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up and, Spark Joy
The Bible in another form. Not really, but I read them at least once a year.

I do the Kondo-tidying once a year, prob soon actually. I’m sure I won’t have to do it so often once the kids stop growing (a lot of clothing turnover) or don’t get as many toys and little Knick knacks for Christmas which threaten my sanity.

If you don’t know, Marie Kondo is a master at organization with a clear reasoning behind why she does what she does. She is firm in the idea that you should only surround yourself in items that bring you joy. In her books she describes how to (so don’t worry if you have no clue wth I’m talking about).

It’s always nice to know you love what you already own.

My Toilet.
I’m talking, seriously only keep things that bring you joy. My tp holder is a vase I love from IKEA that I like seeing, and my mat makes me giggle. Does yours make you giggle?

It will also stop you from spending money. Which leads me to 2.

2. Spend less save more. Ok. Hear me out. This will NEVER happen unless you are HAPPY/CONTENT with what you own—or you completely disengage from all social media and TV (always an option…but then I wouldn’t see you and that would make me sad). So. Go back to number 1 and try to wrap your head around your surroundings and feel the love in everything ya got. If you love everything you own and engage with it all more, yes even the thing housing your toilet paper, you’ll be less inclined to seek out material happiness elsewhere. 
Otherwise feel free to take a break from anything with a screen because it will only be pummeling you with ways to spend your dough on the new you for 2019.

3.  Lose weight.  …do you really need to?? Like, really do you? Do you actually want to change your eating habits in January when your body is still prob in hibernation mode and you more than likely haven’t been eating your usual amount and gained a few pounds over the last few weeks?  Your habits are prob currently less than stellar. Your baseline is all wrong and out of whack.  Give yourself some time to get back to eating as you usually would and then attack weight loss like a fierce animal. Until then, start with water.  I’ve said it before and I’ll more than likely say it again, water is the stuff of life. It will help your body remember it’s thirsty, not hungry. Until it’s hungry. Then you know. 

Like, give yourself a break! Everyone wants to feel healthy. Make this goal something to start in spring – you can EASILY combine healthy food (seasonal food is cheaper=you’ll be happier buying it) and outdoors are just waking up (it’s SPRING bitches!) which means it’s time for easy and free exercise in the great outdoors. Outdoor trails are amazinggggg. 

Honestly, every time I’ve gone to the gym in the new year,  by the time March- April comes around I find I just don’t care enough about my “resolution” and I stop going and cancel the membership, which means it was probably just a knee jerk reaction to the holiday craziness. I kinda don’t mind the way I look. My kids like me. My husband likes me. I do like feeling strong which is a whole other post…but I’ll get there another day.

The thing about a resolution is, if it’s not perfectly tailored to your current time and stress allotment, it will probably fail. 
Don’t set yourself up for failure. 

This will be the first year I do the Kondo with 4 kids…wish us patience, perseverance and health. If you decide to do it too, I’ll wish the same for you. Luck has nothing to do with what we’ve got going on in here.

Money. Well, money would always be good. Hopefully going through every possession in my house knocks some sense into me, that I really don’t need that vase (or three) from target just because they’re 70% off.

3 vases
Or do I because aren’t they just the cutest most perfect vases for this room? I LOVE THEM. Plus, ya know. They were 70% off. Go Target Go.

If I’m exercising, it’s to make me stronger but only if I can make time. There’s zero sense in me spending money on a babysitter and gym and then feeling guilty because I have zero drive to go. If there’s zero drive to go to be gym and spend that dough, my genius friends, it’s prob not a resolution for me or you.  You prob like yourself more than you let on.  And that’s a fantastic thing. 

Maybe an excellent place to start your resolution would be to look at the awesome animal you are. And rock it. A new year new who? Doesn’t have to be you. Just love the life you’re living.

Cheers, Juli